So on my way home yesterday, I stop by McDonald's to grab a salad for dinner. There are two lines, about 3 people deep, so as I usually do, I quickly size up which line is going to move faster by stereotyping the people in each line. On Line 1 we have an African American wearing headphones, and two tall Asian guys. On Line 2, we have a mother with a child (ouch), a Hispanic gentleman, and an elderly Caucasian lady. Well, needless to say, I choose Line 1. On my line, the first guy gets his meal, and is off, the second guy orders and stands to the side, and the third guy places his order. On Line 2, the mother is still trying scrambling for her money.

All of a sudden, I hear elderly lady scream, "Stop looking at me!" I glance over, and the Hispanic guy is turned around in a very defensive stance (10% dmg reduction! =D). He responds meekly, "I'm not looking at you, okay?" I also notice that the lady is carrying several large bags and standing relatively close the the gentleman, and the bags very likely could have been hitting him in the back.

Other people turn to look, and pair kept squabbling, making remarks about how he was just waiting in line, and doesn't want to argue, and how she didn't like it when people gave her attitude. Then, all of a sudden, she screams out "I'm white, okay?! You don't belong here!"

Note that we are in Flushing, and the year is 2008. Not Montgomery, 1955. And just what was she trying to convey? That McDonald's is a white people's store? I thought for sure I was misunderstanding her, but she continued to shout, "I'm white! This is where I'm supposed to be!" I glance across the counter and see expressions of disbelief, also noting that not a single employee is Caucasian. In fact, I look around, and she's the only white person in the enitre restaurant.

I suppose there's a chance that I'm slightly biased, but I fail to see the logic in going to an ethnic neighborhood and declaring, "I'm White!" Maybe she thought it was White Women Wednesday, where you get 50% off every purchase of white meat chicken nuggets if you're of the right ethnicity. I guess none of us got the flyer.

Mind Over Matter

We hear about all sorts gruesome, inhumane behavior by rapists, murderers, child molesters, and we're left in awe of what might motivate someone to do these things. On the other hand, we also hear about the altruistic behavior of others, and are pleasantly surprised by the amount of good that can exist in this world.

Taken from a logical standpoint, these types of behaviors seldom phase me. We learn about the world through the specific environment that we grew up in, so the child of a bigot is statistically more likely to be racist than someone growing up in a safe, multi-cultural environment. The values that I place on restraining behavior comes from a series of events in my life that reinforced the fact that control is more important than blind passion. While I don't absolve the aformentioned criminal acts, I am not surprised that there exist people in this world that have not had the same types of environmental experiences that I have, or possess the same values I have.

What surprises me though, is how much I am affected by innate urges that are neither logical or reasonable, and have no specific foundations in my experience. For example, in the opening of "Seven Things", Miley Cyrus whispers "shhhaaa..." in rhythm with the music. This sends shivers down my spine, and I can't focus on anything for the next fifteen minutes. It doesn't make any sense to me, and it's unclear what the true implications are, but to be affected by something like this without specific reason just baffles me. This is not a learned stimulus, I was not conditioned to appreciate the particular expression.

Are other stimuli are out there that could quickly descend upon me and reduce me to a shivering ball of tears, or fuel a knuckle-blistering rage? How can I predict when these things are going to happen, when there is no foundation for these instinctive reactions? It's the intensity of my personal reactions that startles me. I can control my behavior, but apparently, I can't control my emotions.

Structured Procrastination, with a dash of Physics!

Knowing how bad I procrastinate, my sister sent me an interesting article:

http://www.structuredprocrastination.com/

The essay essentially teaches procrastinators, like me, how to become productive human beings. It starts by explaining that procrastinators don't simply sit around and do nothing, but rather, they do trivial tasks as a method of putting off more important tasks. The trick, he claims, is to obligate ourselves to tasks that seem important and urgent, so we avoid these tasks by working on things that are actually just as productive. He gives several examples that I painfully relate to, including:

"...making a diagram of how they will reorganize their files when they get around to it."

It's an interesting idea, and I'll probably give it a try. However, there are a couple of ideas that I think might complement this "Structured Procrastination."

First, I think at heart, procrastinators are perfectionists, or at the very least, we're optimizers. Part of the reason we put things off until later, or create diagrams of how to do things rather than doing them immediately, is this inexplicable need to do things right the first time. Rather than starting a large project that isn't clearly defined, we often gravitate towards the small, structured tasks that have no variability in it. Why? Because if we don't start the large projects correctly, we could spend a lot of time writing things that will either be low quality or will have to be redone.

Second, large projects typically don't have any type of instant gratification. While I enjoy movies that I watch, I will avoid watching movies because there is a large time commitment, and you can't reflect on a movie until it has ended. Video games, on the other hand, provide small tasks with a reasonable reward structure that can keep me playing for 8 or 10 hours straight. The incentive is that this is an incremental task with a very obvious system of rewards.

Third, there's a concept of inertia. Creating the requisite amount of "activation energy" needed for me to start a large project is the biggest challenge. Once I start on something, it's usually not difficult for me to stick to it. But to get started on a task, I usually consider how much time I would have to spend on it, how much effort I would have to put into it, and that mere anticipation of the work involved motivates me to do something else.

So how do I overcome all of the obsticles at the same time? Well, first, breaking tasks into sizable chunks. Rather than writing a novel, write in a blog. Second, provide myself with a systematic set of rewards, like a cookie when I finish this blog entry (Tasty!) Third, try to build up inertia, and don't stop. Once I finish the blog, I'm going to do some real work. Seriously.